Beginner's Guide to Sex Toys: Where to Start + Best Picks
Buying your first sex toy is straightforward once you understand a few basics -- what the types actually do, which materials are safe, and what is worth spending money on versus what is not. This guide cuts through the noise and gives you a clear, honest starting point regardless of what you are curious about.
Where to Start
The most common first-timer mistake is buying something complicated before understanding what kind of stimulation works for your body. A toy with 30 settings, three motors, and a remote is an upgrade -- it is not the right entry point. Start simple, use it enough to understand what you like, then buy something more specific based on that knowledge.
The second mistake is buying something because it looks impressive rather than because it matches what you are looking for. Realistic size, unusual shape, or high function count does not make a toy better for a beginner. The best first sex toy is the simplest one that does what you actually want.
Start with one clear purpose. External clitoral stimulation, or internal G-spot vibration, or prostate stimulation. Not all three at once.
Materials: What Is Safe
This matters more than most people realise. Some materials used in sex toys are porous -- they absorb bacteria and body fluids at a microscopic level and cannot be fully sterilised. Using porous toys near mucous membranes over time increases infection risk. Others are non-porous and can be cleaned completely.
| Material | Safe? | What to Know |
|---|---|---|
| Silicone | Yes | Non-porous, sterilisable, durable. The gold standard. |
| Glass (borosilicate) | Yes | Non-porous, sterilisable, temperature play capable. |
| Stainless steel / Aluminium | Yes | Non-porous, fully sterilisable, very durable. |
| ABS plastic | Yes | Non-porous, common in bullet vibes. Cannot be boiled. |
| TPE / TPR | Acceptable with care | Porous. Clean thoroughly. Use condoms. Replace periodically. |
| PVC / Rubber / Jelly | Avoid | Porous and may contain phthalates. Not recommended for internal use. |
For your first toy: choose silicone or ABS plastic. Both are widely available, affordable, and body-safe. You do not need to spend more for a safe toy -- many excellent silicone vibrators are available at accessible prices.
Choosing Your First Toy
If you want external stimulation
Start with a bullet vibrator or clitoral suction toy. A bullet vibrator is compact, quiet, and applies focused vibration externally to the clitoris, nipples, or other sensitive areas. The Vibrating Silver Bullet is the simplest entry point. If you are curious about suction (which feels closer to oral sex than vibration), the Bloomgasm 10X Enchanted Rose is the most popular choice on the range.
If you want internal stimulation
Start with a G-spot vibrator rather than a dildo. A curved vibrator specifically targets the G-spot, which is the most reliably pleasure-sensitive internal area. A standard straight dildo requires more work to position. The Silky 10X Silicone G-Spot Vibrator is a clean starting point -- curved, silicone, ten modes.
If you want both (dual stimulation)
A rabbit vibrator is the practical choice -- internal G-spot shaft and external clitoral arm simultaneously. Start with a flexible-arm model so positioning is forgiving. The 10X Flexible Silicone Rabbit Vibrator has a shaft that bends to fit your anatomy.
If you want a couples toy
A vibrating cock ring is the most accessible entry point. It adds clitoral vibration for the receiving partner during penetrative sex without requiring anyone to hold a separate toy. The Remote Control 28X Cock Ring is the bestseller -- the receiving partner takes the remote.
If you want prostate stimulation
Start with the Ergo Prostate Vibe -- a straightforward, well-curved prostate massager at an accessible price. Use plenty of water-based lube and go slowly. Full guide: Prostate Stimulation Guide.
If you want anal play
Start with the anal starter toys collection -- beginner butt plugs designed at appropriate sizes with the right taper for first use. Never use any anal toy without a confirmed flared base. Full guide: Anal Sex Guide for Beginners.
Lube Is Not Optional
Whatever toy you buy, buy lube at the same time. Lube reduces friction, prevents discomfort, and significantly improves the experience with any toy. Many people skip it on their first toy purchase and then underestimate the toy because they are using it incorrectly.
- Water-based lube: Safe with all toy materials. Easy to clean. The right choice for silicone toys and as a starting point for any toy type. Browse the water-based lubricants collection.
- Silicone-based lube: Longer-lasting and thicker. DO NOT use with silicone toys -- it degrades the surface. Safe with glass, metal, ABS plastic, and TPE toys.
- Hybrid lube: A blend of water and silicone base. Longer-lasting than water-based but not safe with silicone toys.
Best Starter Picks at Healthy and Active
Frequently Asked Questions
What sex toy should I buy first?
For external clitoral stimulation: the Bloomgasm Enchanted Rose suction toy or a simple bullet vibrator. For internal G-spot stimulation: a curved silicone G-spot vibrator. For both simultaneously: a flexible rabbit vibrator. For couples use: a vibrating cock ring with remote control. The right starting point is whichever matches what you are most curious about -- start specific rather than buying something that tries to do everything.
Is it normal to buy a sex toy?
Yes. Sex toy use is common across all genders, ages, and relationship statuses. Surveys consistently find over 50% of adults have used a vibrator. Sex toys are widely stocked in pharmacies, and their mainstream presence has grown significantly in the last decade. There is nothing unusual or concerning about using them -- they are sexual wellness products in the same category as condoms and lubricant.
How much should I spend on my first sex toy?
You do not need to spend a lot for a genuinely good first toy. A bullet vibrator or clitoral suction toy in the 0-60 range will be body-safe silicone, rechargeable, and more than sufficient to start. Spending more on your first toy before you know what you like is unnecessary -- save the higher budget for a second toy once you know what kind of stimulation you want to explore further.
Are sex toys safe to use?
Yes, when you choose body-safe materials and clean properly. Silicone, glass, stainless steel, and ABS plastic are all safe for body contact. Avoid porous materials like jelly or rubber for internal use. Clean after every use with warm water and soap or a dedicated toy cleaner. Use water-based lube with silicone toys. Follow any size guidance for anal toys -- always use a flared base.
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