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How to find your kegel muscles.

The easiest way to locate your kegel muscles is to stop your urine mid-stream. [xvThe muscles used to do so are your kegel muscles. This particular method is NOT to be utilized as a consistent exercise, because doing it often can possibly lead to a urinary tract infection. [xviThe same muscles are used when you’re trying to hold in a—ahem—toot. The sensation should feel similar to a “lift and pull.” Finally, you can insert a finger into your vagina and contract your muscles in one of the above ways. You’ll know you’ve found your PC muscles when you feel the squeeze around your finger.

How to exercise your kegel muscles

Whenever you’re trying to build muscle, weights are the most effective way to get the gains you’re looking for. [xvii]

Kegel exercisers or vaginal weights come in all shapes, sizes, and styles and can be combined with any kegel exercise to achieve noticeable results faster. They can even make the work out more exciting and pleasurable (yes… that kind of pleasure). But with so many options, how can you know what’s best for you?

Ben Wa Balls vs. Kegel Balls

While many people use the terms interchangeably, technically there is a difference between ben wa balls and kegel balls. No matter what you call them, these vaginal training tools are key to helping you get the maximum benefit from your exercises.

Kegel Balls

Kegel balls as a broad term can refer to ben wa balls, and certainly encompasses them. However kegel balls may also refer to those that are connected to one-another by some sort of string, are sometimes made of plastic or silicone, and come in a variety of textures and shapes.

Ben Wa Balls

The classic vaginal weights are ben wa balls (sometimes referred to as benwa balls (or ben wah balls) and they are not connected to each other. If you read Fifty Shades of Grey’s sequel, Fifty Shades Darker, you might remember Christian Grey giving them to Anastasia Steele to "hold onto" for a night out. They range from marble-sized to as big as a set of Chinese Baoding Balls, and are typically made of metal or glass.

Choosing the Right Ben Wah Balls or Kegel Exerciser.

Just Starting Out (beginners)

The point of kegel balls and ben wa balls is to keep them inside your body, despite their size and weight, thereby utilizing the strength of your pelvic floor. It’s basically vaginal weight lifting. Although it may seem counter-intuitive, larger balls are going to be easier to hold onto, and are often made to be lighter. Textured kegel balls, or those made with soft silicone, will also be easier for your vaginal walls to grip. A set like this is a great starting point so that you can work your way up from the single to the heavier double.

The string or connector on many kegel balls makes some people more comfortable because they can be easier to retrieve after use, although you won’t have to worry about ben wa balls getting stuck, either. Your body can easily push them out or, if you relax your muscles, they can fall out while standing.

For Experienced Kegel Muscles (advanced)

Traditional ben wa balls are generally a better choice for those who have been practicing kegel exercises for a while, with or without the use of kegel balls. Because of their smaller size and smooth, heavy material, they present a greater challenge and require more pelvic floor strength to keep them from slipping out. For this reason, it’s always a good idea to wear tight panties when wearing ben wa balls in public, regardless of your experience level.

Maximizing Sexual Pleasure (better orgasms)

Many kegel weights feature inner balls that jiggle within the outer shell with each movement of your body, adding an extra element of sensual pleasure. There are even vibrating ben wa balls, which increase sensitivity as blood is drawn to the area. Both stimulations can actually trigger your kegel muscles to contract without even having to work at it. Combining kegel exercise with masturbation can provide instant gratification as your muscles contract with orgasm, stronger for greater ecstasy.

All of the Above (our top picks)

If you’re still not sure how much weight your pelvic floor can handle or what kind of weights to choose, there are versatile sets that are great for beginners and those with more experience, and even provide jiggling stimulation. Both of these sets utilize a silicone harness to hold two balls in place, but the balls can also be removed for use on their own. Thus you can start by using the traction of the harness with the weight of one ball or two. Gradually you can work your way up to inserting a ball and then another without the help of the harness.

Whether you’re using them with specific kegel exercises, wearing them around the house, or killing two birds with one stone by wearing them at the gym, kegel balls are an easy and fun way to get your PC muscles in shape. Check out our full range of ben wa balls or kegel balls to find the right set for your comfort and strength level.

5 Ways to Easily Remember to Practice Your Kegels

Finally, we come back to this complicated relationship that we have with working out. It’s easy to talk about regular exercise and envision the results that will follow, but forming a healthy habit can be a lot more difficult than forming an unhealthy one. Again, the difference with your kegel muscles is that they require very little action to get in shape. You aren’t panting on a treadmill or gritting your teeth through one more set. You don’t need to go into a gym, or even leave your bed/desk/what have you to do them (my pelvic floor is so buff after writing this). However, forgetting to go through the motions on a regular basis can derail your regiment, particularly when the gains aren’t seen by anyone else.

Keep your eye on the prize: more sex, better sex, the best sex! A better relationship with your partner and, if you don’t currently have a partner, remember self-care. Keep your body strong and healthy on the inside. Prepare your body for the stress of childbirth and make a full recovery from it. Pee like an 18-year-old again!

So how do you stay on track?


Here are a 5 easy ways to help remind you to do your Kegels:

  • 1. Do them after you pee. Remember, stopping your urine mid-flow too much can lead to a urinary tract infection, but since you’re already using that part of your body, it will be much easier to keep in mind that you better get a quick workout in while you’re in the privacy of the bathroom. Try to do a set of 20 each time you relieve yourself and you could be doing over 100 each day!
  • 2. Do them in the car. If you live right around the corner, commit to starting them when the engine starts and not stopping until your key is out of the ignition (this method won’t work if you have a push-to-start car). If you have a long commute, give yourself a number of reps for the ride to work and the ride home. Hey, it might even help with some of your road rage (there is no evidence to support this, but it makes sense, right?) And if you take the train or bus to work, don’t be shy! No one can tell what you’re doing!
  • 3. Set an alarm. Put it on your Outlook calendar at work, have a reminder pop up on your phone each day, whatever you have to do. Don’t push snooze! Get them out of the way right then and there.
  • 4. Post a sticky note. Leave it on your bathroom mirror or in your car or on the ceiling above your bed. Wherever you’re gonna see it each day to remember to “do your kegels!” And if, for whatever wild reason, you don’t want everyone to see that written on a sticky note on your desk at work, come up with a clever acronym like, “Call Aunt K,” or “Visit Pet Clinic,” or you know, something that's actually clever.
  • 5. Use a toy to help. Having your kegel balls or ben wa balls next to your bed or in your bathroom can provide a useful reminder, particularly if you enjoy the sensations that come along with them. Reward yourself with masturbation or sex afterwards!
Give Yourself What You Deserve

So there’s no excuse anymore! You deserve more, so give it to yourself. Spread the word to your friends and family (it doesn't have to be weird) because we all know that this isn't being talked about enough. I'm tired of my dentist asking if I've been flossing! I'm tired of that little sticker in my car that reminds me I'm late for an oil change! Next time your doctor asks how much exercise you get per week, ask them, "Do kegels count?" Whatever you do make sure you spend the time to give yourself the benefits you deserve!

About The Author

Ashley Bay is a sex educator and writer who, “in the endeavor to make the world a more orgasmic place, isn’t afraid to get a little dirty.” She believes that sexual health can be a key factor in happiness, for both single and partnered people. Ashley’s extensive work with adult toys introduces people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations to new pleasures.

Browse our complete selection of Ben Wa Balls & Kegel Balls



[i] Dr. Justin Lehmiller, “Do Women Become ‘Loose’ If They Have A Lot Of Sex?” (Sep. 22, 2017).

[ii] Michael Castleman M.A. “The Rare Truth About ‘Tight’ and ‘Loose’ Women.” (Sep. 15, 2017).

[iii] Andrew Siegel MD, “Who Is Arnold Kegel And What’s All That Fuss Over The Pelvic Floor?” (Oct. 4, 2017)

[iv] National Association for Continence, “What Are Kegel Exercises?” (Sep. 15, 2017).

[v] Suzie Heumann, “The Yoga of Sex Muscles.” (Oct. 2, 2017).

[vi] 34MenopauseSymptoms, “3 Low-Impact Exercises to Help with Vaginal Dryness.” (Oct. 4, 2017).

[vii] Sy Kraft, “Atrophic Vaginitis: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatments.” (Sept. 13, 2017).

[viii] UCSB SexInfo Online, “Insufficient Lubrication.” (Sep. 22, 2017).

[ix] Anne C. Poinier, MD, Donald Sproule MDCM, CCFP, Carla J Herman, MD, MHP, “Vaginal Dryness and Muscle Tone During Perimenopause and Post-Menopause.” (Sep. 15, 2017).

[x] Mayo Clinic Staff, “Anorgasmia in Women.” (Sep. 6, 2017).

[xi] Lowenstein, L., Gruenwald, I., Gartman, I., & Vardi, Y. “Can stronger pelvic muscle floor improve sexual function?” International Urogynecology Journal (Sep. 22, 2017).

[xii] Ellen Braats PT, Erin Alft, PT, “Pelvic Floor Health for Women.” (Sep. 13, 2017).

[xiii] Sarah Barness, “10 Reasons to Lift Weights With Your Vagina, In Case You Were Wondering.” (Oct. 4, 2017).

[xiv] Bita Joudaki, “I Took a Female Ejaculation Class.” (Oct. 4, 2017).

[xv] Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, “Pelvic Floor Muscle (Kegel) Exercises for Women to Improve Sexual Health.” (Sep. 6, 2017).

[xvi] Mayo Clinic Staff, “Kegel Exercises: A How-To Guide for Women.” (Sep. 13, 2017).

[xvii] Ben Greenfield, “How Do Kegel Exercises Work?” (Oct. 4, 2017).

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