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Guide to the Wonderful Wild World of Female Orgasms

All About Female Orgasms

All Images in this article by Albert Pocej, in which he documented women at the peak of orgasm! -


Hello my orgasm pleasure seeker and welcome to the Wonderful, Wild and often Whacky World of Female Orgasms.Step right up and sit yourself down, because you are about to be wholly entertained, educated and amazed.

Yes, I am going to teach you all about female orgasms, what they are, how we have them and why some women find them so elusive.

Are you ready?You bet-cha!

Ooohhh I love Orgasms!

I love orgasms.Not only because they feel amazing and because they good for your health (Oh ya!), but because they are literally magical in how they work, and in our body’s ability to manifest them from just about any erogenous zone.You’ll be amazed to find out that orgasms start in the brain (our body’s biggest erogenous zone) and that a whole cocktail of sexy chemicals come together to produce the heady effects we feel from having an orgasm.

What is an Orgasm?


An orgasm occurs during a build up of sexual pleasure, when tension (myotonia) is suddenly released and the brain signals the vaginal nerve to begin uterine contractions in a wave of tingling ecstasy.Most clitoral orgasms last on average 20 seconds and have 1 to 12 contractions which last around 1 second each.Other types of orgasms can last up to 1 minute and continuous orgasms can last 5-30 minutes.

There are many types of female orgasms which are derived from various erogenous zones, but the majority of these all stem from the clitoris.The little nub you see (the clit) at the top of a woman’s vulva is only a small part of the clitoris.The rest (90%) lies beneath the skin, the internal clitoris runs deep inside where it encircles the vagina, urethra canal and urethral sponge (also called the female prostrate or G-spot).From there two legs branch off like a wishbone (the crura) which are attached to two bulbs (the clitoral vestibules) that run under the labia lips.These vestibules are highly sensitive and engorge with blood when aroused.The clitoral structure is a labyrinth of erectile tissue and nerve endings that encompass every other erogenous zone in the female genitals.Many sexologists now believe that the G-spot (as well as the other zones) are only another part of the clitoris itself.

(See my next article on the types of orgasms to learn about the Mega-gasm! Yes!)

Most women need continual stimulation when they are on the verge of orgasm.If stimulation is stopped or changed, she can lose that orgasmic feeling and will need to find that sweet spot again before climax.That’s why it is hard for women to climax via intercourse, unless her partner has lots of stamina and can continue the same type of stimulation.Also, why vibrators can be very helpful, or using other types of stimulation during sex, such as fingers and oral can help couples last longer with more pinpoint types of stimulation that will keep her body engaged.

The Brain on Orgasm


The ability to orgasm is controlled by a complex set of brain functions and has little to do with what happens in your genitals. One area of the brain releases dopamine, the feel-good neurochemical that activates your reward center, and makes you fall in love. The pituitary gland releases beta-endorphins which decrease pain, the hormone and neurotransmitter oxytocin (aka the “cuddle” or “love hormone”) which increases feelings of trust, and the hormone vasopressin, which enhances pair bonding.Mood-boosting serotonin tops off this sexy chemical cocktail so we feel that fuzzy-headed euphoria.

Just before and during orgasm, the parts of the brain that regulate fear and anxiety, shut down in women.This suggests that women need to feel especially safe and relaxed during sex to achieve orgasm.

Reasons Why Women Can’t Orgasm


You would think that with all that we have learned about female orgasm in the last 40 years, that women would be having amazing orgasms.Unfortunately, that is not so according to “Cosmo’s Female Orgasm Study” [i] (2015) by Cosmopolitan Magazine, which revealed that women are not getting enough orgasms:

  • 95% of women’s partners achieved orgasm every time, whereas the women reported only achieving orgasm 57% of the time.
  • 50% of women felt they were almost there, but couldn’t get over the edge, 38% didn’t have enough clitoral stimulation, 35% didn’t have the right kind of clitoral stimulation.
  • 32% said they were too focused in their own head or on how they looked.
  • 72% said they had a partner climax but not attempt to help them finish.
  • 67% faked orgasm to end sex more quickly because they were not going to orgasm anyway.
  • 39% said most of their orgasms were from masturbating with a toy or their hand.
  • 20% achieved orgasm via vaginal with clitoral, 15% vaginal no clitoral, 9% oral sex and 2% with a partner using toy on them.

So, what can we assume by the results above?

  • Women’s partners are either clueless on how to get their partners off or don’t care to learn.
  • Women don’t know enough about their own bodies to know how to achieve orgasm, or are not telling their partners how to get them off.
  • Penetrative intercourse does not last long enough, and does not give enough stimulation or the right kind of stimulation for women to achieve orgasms.
  • Women are not getting enough clitoral stimulation or the right kind.
  • Many women are too focused on thinking, rather than letting go, so they can achieve orgasm.
  • Couples do not playfully explore sex enough and take the time to learn what each other want or need to become orgasmic.

What Can We Do To Enhance Pleasure & Desire to Achieve Orgasm?


The brain is the largest sex organ and can also the biggest killer of orgasms.Having an orgasm is about being in the body, not in the mind, so if you are thinking too much (about chores, work, stress, body image, the ability to have orgasms, etc…) it makes it very hard to let go and “embody” an orgasm.Unfortunately, we spend most of the time in our heads, too distracted to be able to connect to the sensations in our bodies, or numbed out from past trauma.We have to learn to relax, open and receive, via a nice hot bath, meditation and yoga, deep orgasmic breathing exercises and by learning to love our bodies and trust our partners.

Orgasm is not something we know innately how to achieve (if it is, we have forgotten how during puberty, or have been shamed by being sexual beings).So, as young adults (and older adults) we need to experiment (yes that means masturbate), discover and learn what makes us aroused, how to trust and relax and communicate what gets us off to our partners, and to surrender to orgasmic bliss.Only then can we achieve truly amazing, body-quaking, mind-blowing, earth-shattering, sublime Big O’s!

In a 2009 study “Females with Chronic Anorgasmia using the Betty Dodson Method” [ii] by Danish psychosexual therapist Pia Struck, she found that 93% of the 500 women in the study (ages 18-88) who before hand were anorgasmia (the medical term for not being able to have an orgasm) or had difficultly reaching orgasm, where able to reach orgasm during the study.What changed?Using Betty Dodson’s model, “the aim was sexual and existential healing (salutogenesis) through direct confrontation and integration of both the repressed shame, guilt, and other negative feelings associated with body, genitals, and sexuality, and the repressed sexual pleasure and desire…The therapy used the advanced tools of reparenting, genital acceptance, acceptance through touch, and direct sexual clitoral stimulation.”

Indeed, attitudes about your body and sex have a lot to do with your ability to achieve orgasm.Of course, having a vibrator doesn’t hurt either.  Well, most vibrators anyway...

The ability to achieve orgasms for women increases with age. This is likely due to the amount of experimentation that older women have time to explore, and maybe because they care less about body image and are able to embrace their own sexual beauty and let go.

Foreplay, or what I call “Love-Play” is super important when it comes to women being able to achieve orgasm. Yes, sometimes you may be all fired up and ready to go, but usually, for most women, you need some foreplay: romance, suspense, touching, teasing, the build up of arousal and desire.

It is part of the sex act itself and shouldn’t just be breezed over as it is very important to a woman’s sexual response cycle. In other words, we women need lots of time to get aroused.

Love-play is like a mystery novel that builds in suspense, until you can’t wait to see what will happen next. A slow seduction will drive a gal crazy, arousing her to an intoxicating level so when she is ready to orgasm, she won’t be able to hold it back.

Learning more about how your body responds during sex, and seeking to enhance that through practice and by educating yourself sexually will all help in aiding women to achieve orgasm.

Practice makes perfect!

The History of Female Orgasms


And, now… a little bit of Herstory!

Multi-faceted types of orgasms have probably been around since ancient times, when we first started “walking upright and could free our hands for masturbation”, as Lily Tomlin would put it. There is in fact lots of indications that female sexuality was revered and celebrated in ancient times and cultures.

The Venus of Willendorf (and other similar limestone figurines made back during the stone age, between 28,000-25,000 BCE) brazenly flaunt prominent genitalia that suggest female sexuality was a central part of their lives. “The most carefully and exquisitely carved realistic vulva” with “labia and vaginal cleft clearly delineated, with a hint of clitoris visible too… One figurine’s vulva is so cleverly carved that her labia minora, her inner lips, seem swollen as if aroused… [and] some exhibit a more revealing attitude – with oval or almond-shaped vaginal vestibules – as if their labia are parted.” [iii]

In numerous ancient cultures, female sexuality was recorded on artifacts, as well as in art, and ancient texts, from India’s voluptuous carvings in the Tantric temples, to 16 th century Japanese woodblock prints with women suggestively holding dildos between their thighs, to Hindu’s Shakti Goddess whose sexual energy is believed to create every living thing. Many ancient cultures viewed female sexuality as vital.

“The sign of the yoni was meant to convey the shape of the external female genitalia, which the ancients clearly recognized as the seat of female sexual power. Tantrics viewed that power as the source of all creative action. Far from describing female sexuality as “passive” in the Western manner, Tantric Hindus regarded female orgasm as the energizing principle of the universe.” [iv]

According to The Journal of Sexual Medicine, “historians of medicine and psychology described the phenomenon of female ejaculation approximately 2,000 years ago,” [v] and then history forgot about it.

So, it is likely that ancient women in many cultures could achieve many types of orgasms, until women’s sexuality became supressed for 1000s of years. Strangely enough, (or maybe not so) in a time when female sexuality was demonised (Victorian Era), the vibrator was invented (late 1800s) to cure hysteria, a 4000-year-old “disorder” which was caused by pent up sexual energy. Passionate women or those sexually “voracious” who were not satisfied with the same old missionary position were most vulnerable to this dreaded malaise.

The new treatment for hysteria included genital massage that encouraged the patient to reach “hysterical paroxysm” (orgasm), resulting in contractions and release of fluid from the vagina. By the early 1900’s, however, the treatment of hysteria became too time-consuming for doctors to use the old hands-on “cure”, so a new technological miracle was invented: the vibrator. In 1980, the term hysteria was removed as a disorder from medical journals.

Remarkably, not much was known about female sexual pleasure at all until fairly recently. This is in part because of our culture’s sex-negative conditioning and the lack of funding for sexual research. Some sources including Baumeister and Twenge in Cultural Suppression of Female Sexuality (2002), believe that female sexuality has been deliberately ‘suppressed’ which has lead to women being deprived ‘of their natural capacity to enjoy multiple orgasms.’

Furthermore, In the Case of Female Orgasm (2006), Elisabeth Lloyd revealed that women obtain orgasm much less that they desire. Sadly, only 25% of women can experience orgasm during vaginal intercourse and at least 5% of women never experience orgasm at all. Luckily, we are working hard to change those statistics by providing our readers with the tools they need to succeed in bed to help them give their partners amazing orgasms.

Although Lloyd’s conclusion sounds somewhat depressing, women can and do experience sexual pleasure and orgasms (even during intercourse) when they are aroused in the right zones by the correct techniques. It is not because women can’t enjoy sexual pleasure or orgasms that the stats are so discouraging. It is because we haven’t learned the right skills or which erotic buttons to press.

During the sexual revolution in the 1960s and 70s, women embraced the vibrator openly thanks to female masturbation advocate Betty Dodson (and others), as well as their right to sexual freedom and pleasure, and women’s ability to achieve multiple types of orgasms began to flourish again.

And, yes, lucky for us ladies, there are multiple types of orgasm we can and do achieve! So, stayed tuned to my next article to find out about “The Top 14 Types of Female Orgasms – Yes, These Are Real”!

Until next time, I invite you to explore your body, pleasure arousal, desire and orgasm, and see what kind of orgasmic pleasure you can discover for yourself!

Stay Healthy & Active

Today's article was brought to you by the letter "O", the number 3, and the Thunderstruck Power Wand, Oh Ya!


[ii] [accessed Mar 26, 2017].

[iii] The Story of V: A Natural History of Female Sexuality. By Catherine Blackledge

[iv] Barbara Gordon Walker, “A Woman’s Dictionary of Signs and Symbols”.

[v] The Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2010 May;7(5):1965-75. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01720.x. Epub 2010 Mar 2.

The history of female ejaculation.

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